The Partridge Family Temple is pleased to announce a brand-new PFT holiday. It’s called Black Friday and takes place the day after Thanksgiving. We at the Temple understand that God is the ultimate consumer. In a sense the Universe is like a gigantic Walmart and God just can’t wait to consume all that stuff. We also understand that we were created in God’s image which means we are all little consumers. Here today, gone tomorrow. And you know what? God’s gonna stock those shelves again. Maybe it won’t be a dodo bird. Maybe even something way better than a dodo bird.
When you think of Black Friday just think BLACK as in the Black Arts, Black Mother Kali, Richard Pryor, the Black Madonna and her puka shell-wearing Son Freak and the Nigredo. Then you have to think about FRIDAY. You got your German freak Frigg and the in-crowd hangout TGI Fridays, then of course sweet, sweet Venus. Now you dig, these are just groovy incarnations of Shirley Partridge. So starting tomorrow set your alarm clocks for All Consuming God Fun!
When we watch TV God loves us and when GOD loves us we have a free year long subscription to the TV GUIDE…Groovy fall line up!
The integration of the Umbrella Man makes Shirley happy.
SNAKE BALLED LAURIE GOD AND HARD!
KEITH LICKS THE HONEY FROM HIS FINGER… HE SMILES AND THINKS WOW MY MOM IS REALLY FAR-OUT!
DAVID CASSIDY SPELLS THE BEST TV SHOW EVER!
DANNY MADE ME DO IT!
TV SPELLS LOVE!
The Partridge Family Temple has been turning the TV of GOD RIGHT-ON!
SHIRLEY PARTRIDGE WILL ALWAYS COOK YOU A FUN-MINUTE EGG FOR BREAKFAST. SHE LOVES US AND WE LOVE HER!
DAVID CASSIDY POPS OPEN A BOTTLE OF 7UP AND THE EARTH BREAKS INTO SONG! WOULD YOU LIKE TO SING ALONG?
I WOKE UP IN KEITH THIS MORNING WENT TO SLEEP WITH SHIRLEY ON MY MIND!
DAVID IS DEAD LOVE LIVE KEITH!
THE PARTRIDGE PEOPLE ARE ALIVE AND WELL!
PLOP PLOP FIZZ FIZZ OH WHAT A RELIEF GOD IS! Mantra Shirley whispered in my sticky honey ear.
Hey have you heard about PFT? It can really God your life on track.
SHIRLEY GAVE TRACY AND ANNE TWO GLASSES OF MILK AND HONEY.THEN SHE SLICED THE FLOWER POWER PIE!
JOIN THE 24TH CENTURY AND JOIN THE PARTRIDGE PEOPLE FOR THE ALL YOU CAN FUN BUFFET!
WE YOU FUN…BLAST OFF!
BE AS WISE AS SHIRLEY.
IF YOUR NOT FUN HUNDRED PERCENT SHIRLEY… PUT THE KEYS TO THE BUS ON THE TABLE BY THE FRONT DOOR OF GOD ON YOUR WAY-OUT.
I WAS EGG HATCHED TODAY SHIRLEY PARTRIDGE SAID TO THE EGG MARKED 1934 FOUND IN THE EASTER BASKET OF GOD
THE BUS IS VERY BIG AND HAS MANY SEATS…CLIMB ABOARD AND LETS FOLLOW THE FUN!
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY BOARD GAME… SUN FOR ALL AGES!
Do you like Fun? Do you like t-shirts? Is David Cassidy your bag?
Then do we have some groovy gear for you!
Be the first Partridge Freak on your block to score this new Partridge Family Temple t-shirt.
Choose your size & color:
#3 Lime Green/Yellow
T-shirts cost Twenty-Five slices of Wonder Bread plus $3.00 S&H
Please send payment via Paypal: firstname.lastname@example.org
There are many snapshots of God. This was taken in the early 70′s, photographer unknown. On the back of the picture he wrote, “God is both male and female. God is Black like Osiris and Kali. The dual nature of God to the ancients was a Black man dressed in mod Carnaby gear. Some called him Flip because God would flip a coin representing the Two in One.
The female goddess Geraldine dressed in with-it psychedelic fashion who’s catch-phrase was, “What you see is what you get”. Early Egyptologists have deciphered this as meaning. Some seek Truth. Some seek falsehood.
We went up to Seattle a few weeks ago to visit Bobby Sherman. While we were there we recorded a little Jihad Jingle Jangle.
The All Is Flowing Family Of God branch of The Partridge Family Temple cast members were:
Chris Cool (Imagineer Engineer)
Bubblegum Partridge (Wooden Guitar and Sing-Song)
Lava (Mouth Made of Sound)
K is for Kaleidoscope Partridge (Chirp, Chirp)
The Partridge in the Pear Tree (Part-Time Employee of God)
Buy a Park Hopper Pass and click on this link:
When we watched the season finale of Mad Men Season 6 last Sunday, I did something I can’t believe I’ve never done before. I looked at Kaleidoscope and before we started the episode I said, “Let’s say grace.”
And so I said, “Thank you, God for creating Matt Weiner and all the wonderful writers and design people on the show. And thanks for creating the wonderful actors who played those wonderful roles.”
We say grace at dinner. And for years I’ve left flower offerings to the TV. From now on, when we get ready to watch a any new TV show, we will thank God for the writers, prop people, set designers, the TV station that provides us with the glorious entertainment.
And at the end of the day what do you remember more? The fried chicken and whipped potatoes? Or when Adriana was wacked on Soprano’s? Or what about that sockeye salmon that was on sale? Mmmm, wasn’t that good? Does it really compare to the “Chuckles the Clown” episode on the Mary Tyler Moore show?
So next time you close your eyes and fold your hands over your vegan salisbury steak with quinoa and glass of Almond Milk, just ask yourself, “Is this going to taste as good as the Family Ties episode where Michael P. Keaton gets addicted to pep pills and digs holes in the backyard?
I don’t thing so.
You wake up in utter blackness. No sky. No earth. Just forever made of black. Suddenly a dog barks. You turn around. The dog runs up to you. You get on your hands and knees and check the dog collar; it says, “Simone”.
“Simone’s your name?”
The dog barks and shakes it’s head and starts to trot away. You follow but then you stop. For floating high above you, is a gigantic, beautiful, blonde woman wearing crushed, red velvet pants and matching vest, her shirt ruffled and white. She starts to sing, and as she sings, pinpoints of light appear. Newly born stars; and then the stars begin to sing.
And as they sing, the gigantic, blonde woman’s stomach starts to Jiffy Pop, pregnant-swell. She rotates in the black void and smiles at you. Now she’s naked. From her blonde, honey cave hideout emerges a gigantic, yellow and blue egg. She floats away and all is silent.
Then the egg starts to roll back and forth and the yellow top is separated from the blue bottom as it loudly cracks in half. You can’t move and are hardly breathing. Shadowy beings climb out of the egg. You can’t quite make them out. Then they start walking towards you.
Keith. Laurie. Danny. Tracy. Two Christophers; one with blonde hair and one with brown. You know them. You know their names but you don’t know why. Then you notice the others. A young girl clasping a diary. Lancelot Link. Marcia Brady. Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. The Banana Splits. Brandon & Brenda Walsh. JonBenet Ramsey. The cast from Seinfeld. Helen Keller & her Guru. Maude. Nate Archibald. Blair Waldorf. A man with a falsetto playing a ukulele. Bobby Sherman. The Goatfish Man. Flip Wilson & Geraldine. Snake Plissken. That loveable Hazel.
You hear a golden voice behind you.
“Do you love my children?”
You turn around and the gigantic blonde woman is floating on a gigantic, lotus flower dripping with sticky, incense honey.
“I don’t know”, you stammer nervously.
“That’s alright child. They love you and you are love.”
She kisses you on your brow and whispers into your ear, “Wake up.”
You open your eyes. You’re in your bed. “Was that a dream?” you wonder aloud. Just then your door burst open and Danny Partridge barges his way into your room yelling, “Hey, goofball! Mom said to wake up. It’s time for breakfast. I hope you like omelets. Mom makes the best omelets in Albuquerque!”
You hop out of bed and smile. You have never felt so turned-on in your life! As you follow Danny into the kitchen of God, he gives you a TV Guide. You stare in amazement… you’re on the cover!
Hey Partridge People! We have some screaming new patches designed by Leonardo Casas who’s Temple handle is Hey, Mister Sun Partridge.
What’s your favorite color? Yellow/Orange, Green/Purple or Purple/Orange? It’s for YOU to decide.
Throw five slices of bread plus two slices for the Shipping & Handling Scene.
These patches can be stitched or ironed on and were made by the same company that does official work for the Disney Corporation so you know they’re
Fun-Hundred Percent Solid!!!
Please email if interested: email@example.com
- !!!TV GOD POWER!!!
- Albuquerque Affirmations
- All is Larry David, Larry David is All
- Anne Will Set You Frank!
- Is That Bobby Sherman? Oh My God, I Could Just Die!
- LIKE, HEY MAN. WHAT IS THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY TEMPLE?
- Lookin' For God in All the Right-On Places
- Nervous Mother Un-Driving
- Once Upon a Time, There Was a Holiday
- PARTRIDGE TO THE PEOPLE TURN ON!
- THE ALL IS FLOWING FAMILY OF GOD
- THE GOD SCENE
- The Magic Kingdom of God Lies Within You!
- The Partridge People Have Something To Say To You
- The Pineapple Queen Makes the Scene
- The Reuben Kincaid Sandwich of God with Extra Thousand Island and Pickle on the Side
- The Seven Rays of Kroc
- Umbrella Man, Do You Understand?
- We Are All Blind and Deaf to the God Scene