January 18, 2014

Laugh-In at Partridge Camp Runamuck Directed by Martin Scorsese

Reuben Kincaid, the manager of The Partridge Family died on January 16, 2014. If it wasn’t for him becoming their manager, the world sadly would not have the most fun religion ever to exist. And how did this all start?

Rueben Kincaid walks into a bathroom stall, pulls his slacks down and starts to take a deep, rich shit. At that moment, Danny Partridge creepy crawls into the bathroom leaving his sister Tracy to guard the door. He slides a tape recorder under the stall door with his band for Rueben to hear. Rueben hears it and is enlightened.

And the rest is TV GOD POWER history. 

Dave-Madden

FUN FACTS!

Rueben asks if Danny and Tracy are part of a flaky religion. Not yet! But soon. 

Danny and Tracy both wear blue when they first go to room 401 to talk to Reuben. When Rueben opens the door he’s also wearing blue pajamas. Much to learn from this color choice. 

Danny, the Fire Freak slides the tape recorder under the stall because the toilet is a symbol of the Root Chakra where Mother Shirley Partridge sleeps, dreaming of your TV Sitcom. 

Also, Danny and Rueben understand that one must deal with the shit; Danny is sulfur and Rueben understands that he’s going to take a lot of shit by taking The Partridge Family on. When one deals with the absolute truth one has to deal with all the ugly, unpleasant realities of Life. 

Reuben Kincaid is a five-time Finger Fuck Champion and an undefeated Finger Fuck Champion in the states of Alaska and Hawaii. 

Posted by on January 18, 2014 in The Reuben Kincaid Sandwich of God with Extra Thousand Island and Pickle on the Side.

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January 12, 2014

Orange is the New Cassidy

David Cassidy was arrested for drunk driving January 10, 2014 for the third time. Sure, it’s easy to dismiss him as some washed-up TV pop star loser but we at the Partridge Family Temple know this to be wrong. How much does David Cassidy/Keith Partridge love us? More than you could ever know. Jesus took on the cross and the lash and the scorn. Why? Because like many gurus, he was taking our sins onto himself showing us the way. Sure, he seems like some has-been playing casinos but Brother and Sister, you have no idea. 

David drives drunk to show us ourselves. The alcohol symbolizes ignorance, confusion, distortion and seeing double when all should be One. He drives a car because he understands the symbolism of the chariot. We are out of control swerving in and out of reality. As he swerves along the highways and byways, tears stream down his face. He knows that prison lies at the end of his journey. But he understands that we already live in our own prison and he wants us to be free from the shackles of that life sentence. 

And so as people laugh and think of David as another fuck-up like Danny Partridge, we at The Temple fall on our hands and knees and give thanks that the widow’s son cares so much about us.

Truly David Cassidy spells LUV!

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Posted by on January 12, 2014 in Keith.

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January 11, 2014

Ride a Son of the Swan Like the TV People

As you sit in front of the TV to take Communion, 

make sure and have a piping hot aluminum TV Eucharist.

tvdin17

Posted by on January 11, 2014 in !!!TV God Power!!!.

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January 6, 2014

BROWN GOBLINS HAPPEN

The young man slowly walks through the desert. His entire body screams hunger and thirst. He has suffered excruciating Brown Goblin persecution. He gazes through the desert haze and sees the mountain in the distance. He smiles and realizes his journey is halfway done. Slowly, ever so slowly he crawls up the winding mountain path. Finally he sees her.

A beautiful naked woman with a blonde, shag hairdo. She throws her arms open wide for him and brings him to drink from her bosom. After he is drunk deep he falls to his knees before her and tells his story of the Great Goblin War and his place in it. She smiles and then stroking his head says, “Here, let me lessen  your suffering. Drink from my honeycomb hideout.”

As she opens her thighs and she pulls his head between them, he looks behind her and sees that she is shitting. Each new piece of shit is actually a baby, Brown Goblin. As it falls, it quickly grows into a full grown Brown Goblin. He looks closer and sees that the entire valley below is teaming with Brown Goblins that are all waving small triangular felt flags that spell out, “SHIRLEY” in cursive letters.

He turns and looks up into her face.

She smiles and as she guides his head again, she winks at him forever.

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Posted by on January 6, 2014 in Shirley.

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