DANNY CATCHES THE UN

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One evening, Shirley was making macaroni and cheese for everyone’s dinner. They had just finished band practice when the sun went down and it became too dark to see outside. Danny was getting more and more irritated as his bedtime approached. After finishing the last bite of his meal he stood up at the dinner table.

“Every day we have to rush to do our chores, finish our homework and have band practice— all before the sun sets,” he said. “Why should we be slaves to the sun? I’m going to catch the sun before he rises and teach him to be a little more respectful!”

But Keith was quick to criticize, not believing Danny could possibly pull off such a feat.
“It would be impossible to catch the sun, he’s much bigger than you! And smarter too!”

“The heat and flames would burn you to death, Danny,” Shirley said.

“I think he’s got sunstroke,” Laurie added, and they all laughed.

“Hey – I’ve done a lot of things that people thought were impossible,” Danny said angrily, “and I will conquer the sun!”

The next day Danny rummaged through the garage until he found some rope, which he planned to use to ensnare the sun. When the evening arrived, he grabbed the rope and walked towards the east where the sun rises first. He dug a hole among the roots of a tree and hid.

The first ray of light, the first leg of the sun, soon began to appear in the sky. Danny threw his rope and caught it. One by one the legs of the sun rose into the sky and were caught by the rope.
When the sun saw that all of his legs were trapped, he tried to lower himself again. Danny quickly tied the rope to the tree and pulled until the body of the sun came back up again.
Danny reached into the hole he had dug beneath the tree and pulled out an ax. He began to viciously strike the sun until he was coated in blood.
“Give me my life,” the sun begged.

“If you live, you may be a traitor,” Danny shouted, “It would be better just to kill you!”

But the sun continued to plead for his life. He asked Danny if they could please discuss the situation.
After talking for a while, the two agreed that there should be a regular motion to the sun’s journey. Danny would allow the sun to live as long as he was able to make the days longer. They decided that half of the time the sun could go down quickly, as he now does in the winter — but during the other half he must move slowly, as he now does in the summer.
The days became longer thanks to Danny, he had succeeded in taming the sun. From that day on, the sun has always kept his word and traveled slower across the sky.

A traditional Hawaiian tale

Artwork by Whale Song Partridge

Point me in the Direction of Androgyny

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You know you’re on the right-on path to Albuquerque when David Cassidy comes to you in a vision looking like his authentic self. 
The Moon reflects the Fun!

Hatched From a Boulder 1970


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How many times have you come home and seen a fairy princess sleeping under a tree?

And try as you may it seems kisses don’t seem to wake her up.

What can you do?

What you can do is re-watch Snow White & the Seven Dwarves, Sleeping Beauty & Cinderella

But do it in the Flower Power Position.

Symbiosis is the idea of like two different organisms working together in the Land of Opposites Commune.

If you want to join the Shirley Liberation Army than you better find a fairy princess sleeping under a Christmas Tree because

Would you like Shirley to pour you a nice glass of Moksha?

Artwork by Whale Song Partridge

Scripture by The Partridge in the Pear Tree 

Sweet Anne Marie, She’s my Heart’s Delight!


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We at Pft! understand that the best way to read The Diary of Anne Frank is to eat it in liquid form on a sugar cube dissolving in a delicious cup of Folger’s Coffee after a delicious Swanson Hungry Man Reality TV Dinner.

Annie Frankincense made the scene a long time ago but God Freaks are just starting to pick up on her Six-Pointed Star radiance. She wants us to get it together like she did when she lit that solid Upstairs/Downstairs candle that she got from the Union Organizer of Opposites who stood on the street corner screaming,

“It’s free…if you want it!” 

Do you know why Anne is smiling?

Art by Whale Song Partridge 

Scripture by The Partridge in the Pear Tree