THE ORDER OF THE GOLDIE HAWN.
Do you believe that butterflies are free?
Are you blind living in a lead apartment without heat or running water?
Is a Brown Goblin your landlord?
Do you think The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes is better than almost every movie ever made?
Do you want to know the meaning to life?
Do you want to crack the God Code?
Would you like to go on a spiritual picnic that never ends?
Then…
Maybe you would like to join the Order of the Goldie Hawn.
A new Pft! path to UN-ENLIGHTENMENT
The Order of the Goldie Hawn’s teachings are:
–How to read a TV Guide correctly
–What bus stop is best for you (and the origins of bus stops)
–Chocolate Bar There You Are: Solitary Confinement exercises
–Anne Frank Yoga Studio, classes now accepting Brown Goblins not to attend
–Carrot Cultivation: Laurie Partridge & Carrot Pudding Symbolism
–How to Light Everything on Fire & Not Get Caught: The Teachings of Danny Partridge
–UN-YOGA- David Cassidy says, “My yoke is crisp and clean with no caffeine.”
–How to Change a School Bus Tire
–Television & Mountain Climbing Challenge & Skills
Would you like to know why Butterflies are Free?
The Order of the Goldie Hawn now accepting militant TV viewers.
Artwork by: Whale Song Partridge
Newsletter by: The Umbrella Man
The Order of the Goldie Hawn now accepting militant TV viewers.
Newsletter by: The Umbrella Man
Snow falls as Anne looks out her attic window. Below her, Brown Goblins prepare for another book burning. Their hideous grunts and screams fill the afternoon. Soon the air is black with fire, soot and ash. The Brown Goblins howl triumphantly.
The next morning Anne hears a commotion outside her attic window. She takes a sip of chestnut tea and looks out at the scene below. She sees the Brown Goblins stacking more books for another bonfire. She takes another sip of chestnut tea and thinks, “I thought they burnt all the books yesterday.”
But then she remembers Brown Goblins always save one book so they can do a reprint. Brown Goblins love to howl and scream. Once they screamed and screamed and screamed until all the birds with purple feathers fell from the sky dead. She shakes her head and goes back to eating her moon pudding made from scratch.
Anne is wrapped in her blankets sound asleep having a most curious dream that she’s in a city that she’s never visited before in front of an old, tall apartment building. She sees a hideous Brown Goblin slowly walking up to the front door and his arm is wrapped around a young girl who every so often kisses the Goblin which makes him grunt and hiss.
Anne is so disgusted by this, she drops to one knee, pulls out a gun and unloads it into the Brown Goblin’s back. The Brown Goblin falls to the ground. Hideous gas and screams fill the air as the Brown Goblin dies. As Anne starts to load her gun again, the girl runs up, thrusting pen and paper into her hands asking for an autograph. Anne politely signs it and then looks up into the beaming face of herself.
Sirens fill the night air as Brown Goblins start to surround…
Excerpt from “The Electric Diary” by Shaun Partridge, chapter “Princess Anne and the Brown Goblins”.
Poster by Whale Song Partridge, 1972
The Pft! is a God Co-Op founded July 4th 1988 Contact God for Partridge People’s God Co-Op Owner/Membership information.
