The Partridge Family Temple is pleased to announce a NEW & IMPROVED! form of the God-Head Eastern Union.


What is it, you ask with mouth wet-wide?

Like Ray Kroc said, “Keep it simple.”


Is a new offshoot of the ancient God Reality Scene called “yoga”.

They say that, “Silence is Golden” and Shirley Partridge with her warm and reassuring smile, would smile as she poured you a glass of Nervous Mother milk.

Simply put, we are all part of the Secret Annex Scene. Inside of us, is the Eternal Spirit, Anima Frank who is in hiding because of the Brown Goblins.

Give the brown goblins the silent treatment!

The Brown Goblins are everywhere clambering to distract you from the true YOU.

Here is what to do:

  • Find a Secret Place to set your yoga mat and then sit down in whatever yogi position that is most comfortable to you.

  • Don’t strain. Anne doesn’t like fake laughter at a luncheonette. Extra pickle please!

  • Now you’re ready! Begin by chanting, “Can I be Anne Frank with you?”

  • Don’t expect anything right away. Eventually, if your SECRET ANNEX YOGA! is pure of heart, God will respond, “Yes, you can. Yes, you can, be Anne Frank with me.”

  • To find your inner Anne Frank, you must first find the Seven people that she shares the Secret Annex with. You must become close confidants with them. Some will be easier than others.

  • Once you’ve made friends with all Seven Secret Annex inhabitants and have mastered to be as silent as the mouse in Walt Disney’s hand made of statue, than you will experience the bliss of Anne Frankincense.

  • You don’t know how difficult the Matterhorn at Disneyland is to climb. This isn’t going to be easy because the higher you climb, the more Brown Goblins you’re going to attract.

  • Brown Goblins never get tired. They’re always hungry for All-You-Can-Eat Lie Pie. Not only can they never get their fill, they never order it “Lie a la Mode”. Anne would never have a slice of pie without a scoop of delicious ice cream!

  • Again, I can’t stress enough; don’t underestimate the Brown Goblins! To prove my point, when you wake up tomorrow, try not having breakfast with the Brown Goblins. Oops! What’s that? Did I just hear a Brown Goblin ask for you to past the toast and jam? See what I mean?

  • You’re going to need to Turn-On to the Nostril Scene. Imagine that your nose is a rudder steering your Secret Annex. After all, your left nostril is named “Anne” and your right nostril is named “Frank”.


Where do we meet?

We don’t.

This is your Trip to the Candy Shoppe of God-Head.

The Divine SECRET ANNEX YOGA! Trip was planted in the Partridge in the Pear Tree the Eighth of June 2011. It was written on the Twelfth of June 2011.

The Egg Hatching Day of the Anne Frank Revolution!

When the Brown Goblin is annoying you, give it the Silent Treatment. The Brown Goblin hates nothing more than the Silent Treatment. When you don’t talk about the Brown Goblin, the Brown Goblin doesn’t exist. But like Laurie Partridge said, “Easier said than done.” Every morning you wake up, the Brown Goblin is there to serve you breakfast in bed. Do you like to drink a hot cup of lie in the morning? Do you enjoy course bread full of gas, smeared with brown, bumpy scales? Do you like shit over easy? Heck, everyone likes room service. But when you get your bill, you’ll find out that Brown Goblin Breakfast in Bed is a pretty heavy coin purse. And that’s even without the tip.


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