Danny lies in the backyard watching the Fourth of July fireworks, his belly full of hotdogs and deviled eggs. The rest of the family are also staring at the exploding American sky. Then he hears, “Psst! Hey you!”
Danny turns around and sees an old man wearing nothing but red diapers. He gets, up sucking on a jawbreaker and follows the man into their garage. The old man is crying. He turns around and places an iron hammer and a rusty sickle on a small card table. Danny stares intently, not saying a word. The man picks up the heavy hammer in his left hand and in a thick foreign accent says, “This hammer is no longer the hammer it was. This hammer is the hammer of the Blacksmith of God. The blacksmith belches fire from his mouth and turns people to black hollow statues.”
He then puts the hammer down with a loud thud as he picks up the sickle. He continues, “This sickle is no longer the sickle that it was. This sickle is the Mother of the Wheat Fields forever hungry for the Golden Seed that must have it’s throat slit. This sickle comes to tuck you into bed so you can wake up in red diapers.”
At this point the man starts to remove his red diapers. Before he can finish Danny says, “Okay, I think I get the idea. I’m going to go back and watch the fireworks now.”
The old man standing naked and crying with his red diapers at his ankles says, “God Bless America!”
Here at the Partridge Family Temple, everything has the potential to be new and improved. I think we can all safely say Communism has had it’s day. It was cute but didn’t really work out. Fashion wise it did, and that’s what the Temple cares about. But of course that hammer and sickle scene needed to listen to Up To Date by The Partridge Family. A great symbol has now gotten even better. No longer a Communist symbol. It’s now just a symbol of hammering Brown Goblin lies and reaping that sweet, sweet Shirley Partridge honey.

GOD FACT: The yellow and red hammer and sickle flag was inspired by the yellow and red color scheme of The McDonalds Golden Arches flag.

God Fact: Not many people know this, but when Stalin died he was five years old.

God Fact: Communism was the inspiration for Calmmunism.


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