The Pft! has many different bus stops. This bus stop, The All is Flowing Family of God is a branch of the Eternal Partridge Family Temple Tree. We use the word GOD quite frequently. Now we all know that God is Shirley, Keith, Laurie, Danny, Christopher & Tracy. We’ve all established that immutable truth. But we at Pft! want to clarify the butter of God with you. We don’t know what God is, who God is, why God is and when God will be beyond CBS, Fridays at seven o’clock. But we do know God’s a solid!
Now everyone has their own head trip what God is. Here’s a helpful list of some God Freaks we know and love. After Shirley this character may be the easiest person to pray to: Walt Disney. I can’t think of a better person than Walt Disney to really humanize the God Scene. How can you argue with someone who created Disneyland and had his own personal apartment to look out at his new Jerusalem? You can’t.
Dolly Parton. Can you just imagine that when you die, you wake up in a grassy vale with beautiful Autumn leaf trees towering above you? And then you hear the most beautiful voice that you could ever hear. And as the voice moves closer to you, you see a blonde woman crest a hill and as she comes hither, the smell of Spring perfumes the air. This blonde hillbilly from Tennessee is naked and holds you close to her whispering, “It’s okay, honey. You just went to sleep and had a nightmare. Now it’s the morning and everything’s fine. Are you hungry for some flapjacks?”
Now we’re going to break it down real quick and C’mon Get Happy fast. Ray Kroc, Mary Blair, Tiny Tim, Buckminster Fuller, Aaron Spelling, C.S. Lewis, George MacDonald, J.R.R. Tolkien, Norman Lear, Ray Harryhausen, Anne Frank, Colonel Sanders, Helen Keller, MGM, 20th Century Fox, Paramount, RKO, Warner Brothers, Ernie Ball, Bobby Sherman, Marcia Brady, Hazel, Matt Weiner, Ronald McDonald and of course whomever invented Jello Spoon Candy.
So grab your piping hot TV dinner from the oven, put it on a TV tray, grab your TV Guide, get in the Flower Power Asana and remember,