February 20, 2017

A Public Partridge Service Announcement!

The Partridge Family Temple supports Transformation Rights. It’s not a popular subject and causes outright outrage and confusion. The Partridge Family Temple understands and welcomes anyone who would like to experience Transformation.

Unfortunately The Partridge Family Temple understands that many people do not support Transformation Rights. When Jack Tripper lived with Chrissy and Janet, Mr. Roper constantly wanted Jack to transform into a straight man so he could kick him out and try to mentally and spiritually molest the inhabitants of that peaceful apartment. Mr. Roper would never support a hermetically sealed bathroom. But Jack Tripper was an amazing cook and you need to be an amazing cook to transform lead into gold.

One day Jack Tripper prepared a Squared the Circle Casserole for supper for Chrissy and Janet and Janet gave Mrs. Roper some leftovers. When Mr. Roper ate the leftovers, he was transformed and became Mr. Furley. In fact when he woke up, Mrs. Roper was no longer there nor were her robes. If you’d like to know more, there are caves holding Dead Sea Scrolls that no one yet has found.

Keith Partridge and Laurie Partridge are Brother and Sister but they are also so much more. If you have a microscope and you put a drop of honey on it, you’l see millions of Keiths and Lauries having sex as the honey drop grows bigger and stickier with Transformation.

As Transformation Rights cause more and more unrest, The Partridge Family Temple beseeches you to meditate upon a Man who stood in an empty field in Anaheim and saw something where people saw nothing. This Man who ate chili from a can saw a Kingdom and so he Transformed these acres of land into a little place you may have heard about called Disneyland.

UN-FACT: Some people, plants and animals don’t need to Transform. They are perfect the way they are.

UN-FACT: Brown Goblins do not like Transformation and are openly hostile to it’s teachings and application.

UN-FACT: Come and knock on our door… (Come and knock on our door) We’ve been waiting for you…. (We’ve been waiting for you)
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, Three’s company too.

Shirley Partridge wants everyone to remember that Three’s Company is TWO. And that’s why it’s ONE.

God commercial: The Partridge in the Pear Tree
God advertisement: Whale Song Partridge

Posted by on February 20, 2017 in !!!TV God Power!!!, Partridge to the People Turn On!, The God Scene.

Leave a Comment

January 31, 2017

Kundalini Fire Column

The Pft! People understand that everything has an esoteric silver lining cloud trip happening. I don’t know about you, but who could possibly say anything bad about going to Kentucky Fried Chicken when they were a kid? The Original Recipe that was 11 secret herbs and spices, the Colonel chose to symbolize the eleven-pointed star that the Statue of Liberation stood upon, who is the Divine Shakti.

But here is another Secret Recipe. The Colonel symbolizes the middle pillar; the spinal column in the Great Work of Yoga. The word Colonel comes from the word column. He wears white signifying the color of bone. In his hand he holds a cane which is the Danda staff also symbolizing the straight, erect spinal column.

Not many people know this but Kentucky Friend Chicken is code for Kundalini Fire Column. Because that’s one descriptive way at looking at Kundalini; a pillar of fire that Moses gazed upon in the wilderness.

When we were kids we were more interested in the Spork and wet naps. But like David Cassidy said, “The Colonel will appear when the customer is ready to order.”

In short order, Un-Yoga understands that Colonel Sanders is the spinal column and Benjamin Franklin’s eight-parted snake, Join, or Die simply means the noble eight-fold path because if you don’t join the eight segments of the serpent, you will not have liberation.

The Gadsen flag DON’T TREAD ON ME snake also symbolizes the Kundalini and is tied back to Benjamin Franklin; that lightening freak. And later would be the namesake of Ben Frank’s in Hollywood where The Byrds, Love and Kim Fowley would hang out. The snake is coiled three and a half times like Kundalini at the base of your Colonel Sanders. And that’s finger lickin’ good!

UN-FACT: If you don’t like the Little Bucket Chocolate Creme Parfait you were born without a soul and will never achieve Nirvana.

UN-FACT: Colonel Sanders got in a horrible accident when his Model-T went off a bridge. The skin on his skull split in two and he took mud and pushed his skin back together, never going to the hospital. He did this to show that a house divided cannot stand.

UN-FACT: The Spork symbolizes the union of Sun and Moon by way of fork and spoon, as One.

Un-Yoga Chapter #73 The Partridge in the Pear Tree
Ancient Kundalini image 2017 by Whale Song Partridge

Posted by on January 31, 2017 in Un-Yoga.

Leave a Comment

January 1, 2017

WORD to the Motherland!

In the Beginning there was Shirley Partridge. She sat upon the thick green grass and was very beautiful. Many came and bowed before her. They lovingly adjusted her Rabbit Ears, switched her on and turned her heavenly volume up. They sat in the green grass as the Great Mother spoke the holy WORD of creation on her mini-channeled symphony.

Shirley is our ancestral homeland and television is our Rainbow Bridge to the Land of Enchantment. Shirley loves us so much that she invented the TV and the TV is our wet nurse, most Holy of Holies. The Children of Pft! know the TV clicker is the Pearly Gates.

TRULY, MOTHER KNOWS BEST!

Design & God logo execution by Whale Song Partridge
Word From Your Mother by The Partridge in the Pear Tree

Posted by on January 1, 2017 in Shirley.

Leave a Comment

January 1, 2017

Little Miss Pine Cone Makes the Scene

In the Summer of 1990 at a friend’s house in Boulder, Colorado, we drank mushroom tea. We started to come down and my friend, Puppy Boy said, “Let’s make some more mushroom tea.”

I said that sounds great and my girlfriend at the time said no. We’re coming down but I ignored her and drank another cup. I then became extremely high again and started to freak out. I told my girlfriend I was freaking out and she laughed and said, “I can’t do anything for you. I told you to not drink anymore.”

So I went outside and sat on the cement steps of the basement apartment. The mushroom tea continued to kick in and I kept thinking, why did I drink the extra cup? I’m about to have a completely bad trip. At this moment a wind picked up across the street and started moving towards me. A rustling of leaves filled the air and being on mushrooms I stared at the wind coming towards me.

I noticed that there was a strange spiral that seemed to come from one of the trees; thicker at the base and narrower at the top, about three feet tall. I didn’t take my eyes off of it. The wind finally engulfed me and so did the spiral. And as it spiraled around me, I instantly felt absolute peace and calm. My body no longer felt any pain or tension and it was also a very distinct feminine entity like a mother hugging you.

The wind kept going and the spiral went with it. And as it left I realized I was no longer tripping that hard and felt completely relaxed. And at that moment I thought, did I just have some cliche hippie experience with Mother Nature? I groaned and went back into the basement happy I wasn’t freaking out anymore and promptly forgot about it.


The Spring or Summer of 1997 in Portland, Oregon at my old girlfriend’s house, I was reading a book about Wesley Allen Dodd. It was a beautiful day. When Wesley Allen Dodd stabbed the two boys in the park I was very excited and thought, “You go, Wesley Allen Dodd and do your thing.”

I then put the book down, drank some coffee and looked out the second story window of my apartment and noticed in the blue sky outside the window a spiral, thick at the base, narrow at the top, spiraling towards the window. I wasn’t on mushroom tea but completely sober and awake from delicious coffee.

I stared at the spiral, wondering if I was actually seeing it. It came closer to the window and I wondered what was going to happen. And then the spiral slowly came through the window. The spiral was as if molecules were slightly distorted. It wasn’t a color. It was a shape and was moving. It was a slight distortion of the air.

At that moment it reminded me of the time I freaked out on mushroom tea in Boulder, Colorado and had the Mother Nature trip. So I thought, oh, the last time this happened it spiraled around me and I had felt absolute bliss. The spiral spiraled around me and instead of feeling absolute bliss I felt absolute panic in the purest sense of the word.

And this spiral imparted to me that I had gone too far with what I was reading. That it wasn’t a healthy interest in the dark side of human nature but a ghastly distorted one. It was so incredibly intense I sat there for a few moments. And then I looked in the corner where I had a bunch of wonderful pictures of horrible things hanging up with my JonBenet Ramsey candy cane and her golden shovel from the sandbox that a friend from Colorado sent me and I thought, so all of a sudden I’m not supposed to like this stuff anymore? This is wrong?

And then a very clear voice said as I stared at my alter, “This is the cornerstone that you build upon.”

I shook my head and the voice said again, “This is the cornerstone that you build upon.”

At that moment I had a vision of a cornerstone and taking this stuff and transforming it from darkness into light. And then I groaned because I didn’t like that idea at all. It reminded me of people who would put serial killers and pictures of concentration camps on their album covers and say this is our way of showing these things are bad which always annoyed me. Just admit you like this stuff. It’s healthy and interesting and part of the Reality TV Scene.

And then life went on. A few months later I started having dreams that I later realized were alchemical in nature even though I’d never had any interest in alchemy. Also, some of the dreams were Kundalini in nature. Another thing I had no interest in.

I write this because I think a lot of people have these strange, magical moments and also because as I’ve gotten more into Kundalini Yoga in the past seven years I’ve become more interested in spirals and the Divine Feminine. Or if you don’t like the term Divine Feminine, you can substitute Peggy Olson.

When I went to JonBenet Ramsey’s house in 1999 with my old lady, Kaleidoscope, I took back three pinecones from her house as keepsakes. Over the years as I’ve become more interested in Kundalini Yoga I realized how perfect it all was. The yellow shovel represents the sacrum, where the root chakra lies. The candy cane is the danda staff, red and white, Ida and Pingala, Sun and Moon. Three pine cones, the pineal gland and the Third Eye, which I had no interest in, in 1999.

But that’s the way the Pft! looks at things. Every ugly Brown Goblin activity has a silver factory lining. The Great Work is all around us. JonBenet Ramsey is the present at the base of the Tree of Life. She is Sleeping Beauty waiting for us to awaken her so she can awaken us. You just have to unwrap that bow.

But that’s only if you believe that God made a TV show called The Partridge Family that would later become a religion that the God Freaks would watch obsessively on CBS.

I will take this Pft! opportunity to quote the old saying,

“THE GODDESS WORKS IN IRRATIONAL WAYS”.

HAPPY BOXING DAY!

JBR Venus symbol 1970 by Whale Song Partridge
The Diary of Shaun Partridge 1972

Posted by on January 1, 2017 in The Pineapple Queen Makes the Scene.

Leave a Comment