February 13, 2014

Remember Our God is Shirley Temple Black

When “Hey, Mister Sun“ woke me up yesterday I was alerted to the fact that Shirley Temple had died. Shirley Temple has always been code for The Partridge Family Temple. The one thing I’d never realized is that her name was Shirley Temple Black. Now it all makes sense. The Road to Albuquerque becomes more clear. 

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GOD FACT: She presented Walt Disney with his special Academy Award for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It was a standard-sized Oscar with seven little Oscars.

GOD FACT: Bob Dylan sang about The Black Madonna, which is Shirley Partridge.

GOD FACT: Shirley Jones was named after Shirley Temple by her parents who understood the Seed that they planted would one day crush the Serpent’s head that holds a pear in it’s mouth. 

Partridge Makes Perfect!

Posted by on February 13, 2014 in Shirley.

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February 9, 2014

Partridge Family Temple Hand Jive

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It’s been a Temple hand sign for many years and has many meanings. For some reason, The Partridge Family Temple has never been hip to the origin until a few weeks ago when Brother Poppy Partridge turned us onto this picture of the famous Yogini Indra Devi doing the Partridge Family hand sign which we later found out is called the “Prithvi Mudra”. Apparently when you do this, it symbolizes “earth” which of course is our Mother and taps into the root chakra or as we like to call it, “Bus Stop”. Who would have thought that we were doing something Shirley wanted us to do all along? Oh yeah, she would.

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Posted by on February 9, 2014 in Nervous Mother Un-Driving.

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January 18, 2014

Laugh-In at Partridge Camp Runamuck Directed by Martin Scorsese

Reuben Kincaid, the manager of The Partridge Family died on January 16, 2014. If it wasn’t for him becoming their manager, the world sadly would not have the most fun religion ever to exist. And how did this all start?

Rueben Kincaid walks into a bathroom stall, pulls his slacks down and starts to take a deep, rich shit. At that moment, Danny Partridge creepy crawls into the bathroom leaving his sister Tracy to guard the door. He slides a tape recorder under the stall door with his band for Rueben to hear. Rueben hears it and is enlightened.

And the rest is TV GOD POWER history. 

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FUN FACTS!

Rueben asks if Danny and Tracy are part of a flaky religion. Not yet! But soon. 

Danny and Tracy both wear blue when they first go to room 401 to talk to Reuben. When Rueben opens the door he’s also wearing blue pajamas. Much to learn from this color choice. 

Danny, the Fire Freak slides the tape recorder under the stall because the toilet is a symbol of the Root Chakra where Mother Shirley Partridge sleeps, dreaming of your TV Sitcom. 

Also, Danny and Rueben understand that one must deal with the shit; Danny is sulfur and Rueben understands that he’s going to take a lot of shit by taking The Partridge Family on. When one deals with the absolute truth one has to deal with all the ugly, unpleasant realities of Life. 

Reuben Kincaid is a five-time Finger Fuck Champion and an undefeated Finger Fuck Champion in the states of Alaska and Hawaii. 

Posted by on January 18, 2014 in The Reuben Kincaid Sandwich of God with Extra Thousand Island and Pickle on the Side.

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January 12, 2014

Orange is the New Cassidy

David Cassidy was arrested for drunk driving January 10, 2014 for the third time. Sure, it’s easy to dismiss him as some washed-up TV pop star loser but we at the Partridge Family Temple know this to be wrong. How much does David Cassidy/Keith Partridge love us? More than you could ever know. Jesus took on the cross and the lash and the scorn. Why? Because like many gurus, he was taking our sins onto himself showing us the way. Sure, he seems like some has-been playing casinos but Brother and Sister, you have no idea. 

David drives drunk to show us ourselves. The alcohol symbolizes ignorance, confusion, distortion and seeing double when all should be One. He drives a car because he understands the symbolism of the chariot. We are out of control swerving in and out of reality. As he swerves along the highways and byways, tears stream down his face. He knows that prison lies at the end of his journey. But he understands that we already live in our own prison and he wants us to be free from the shackles of that life sentence. 

And so as people laugh and think of David as another fuck-up like Danny Partridge, we at The Temple fall on our hands and knees and give thanks that the widow’s son cares so much about us.

Truly David Cassidy spells LUV!

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Posted by on January 12, 2014 in Keith.

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