On the First Day of Christmas, My True Love…

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

My Partridge Family Temple name is The Partridge in the Pear Tree. But in all actuality, everyone in the Temple has that God handle. We are the seed Tracy planted in the sandbox with her plastic shovel and hoe. Danny watered it with his hot yellow piss. Laurie pulled up her mini skirt and laid a pink egg as Keith shot, hot thick Sunshine all over it. Christopher got on his hands and knees and kissed it as his heart beat filled the air. Then Shirley started to sing and as she sang, a pear tree grew tall and full.

Beneath the pear tree a partridge laid an egg and made her nest. (Sir John Woodroffe wrote, “Two fingers above the anus and two fingers below the Medhra is the Kanda-mula, in shape like a bird’s egg, and four fingers’ breadth in extent.”)

il_570xN.286370655

Once the partridge was a dinosaur they say. Then through the miracle of stop motion animation, the dinosaur became a bird. The partridge mother hatches her egg and a serpent named Snake slithers up the pear tree and hangs from the seventy-two branches like white lightening. Spring comes and as Laurie dances around the pear tree, the tree grows thick and heavy with golden pears.

The pear is also “pair”; two. For the pear tree was planted by the Union organizer of Opposites. The Honeymooners and My Three Sons always play in the background of this pear tree. Finally the partridge finds it’s wings and flies to the top of the pear tree and eats from the Heavenly Fruit. Her beak is sticky and wet with Television Consciousness.

Everyday we can sit beneath the pear tree and slowly Turn-On the Eternal Sitcom of God.

All you have to do is turn your mind off and turn your TV Right-On!

The Thousand Petaled NBC Logo

I was looking up the NBC snake logo this afternoon when I decided to watch the always classic NBC peacock logo. I had never noticed that at one point the peacock is a lotus. I also never knew until today that there’s an NBC logo called the NBC snake logo. Watching TV taught me this. And yet while walking down the street you’ll still see someone getting into a car with a “Kill Your TV” bumper-sticker.

nbcpeacock6

Doesn’t Somebody Want to Be Wanted?

You know, I’m no different from anybody else
I start each day and end each night
But it gets real lonely when you’re by yourself
Now where is love and who is love, I gotta know

Keith Partridge is just another normal teenager chasing skirt, skinny dipping and blasting rock n’ roll. You can also find him climbing into his Golden Chariot pulled by a gigantic bronze partridge, flying through the sky. Later, the chariot turns into an ivory sled pulled by a giant silver six-legged squirrel and David Cassidy sleeps and dreams of love, Friday nights now on abc.

2186095-keith_partridge_1

I Don’t Know Why I Got This Tattoo

But we at The Partridge Family Temple know why you got this tattoo, Danny. Bobby Sherman sang, “In Seattle”. One day, low and behold, Danny Partridge moves to Seattle. This alone was ancient Pft! Prophecy. But then you get a back tattoo and you say you don’t even understand why you got it.

The Space Needle represents the Spine. At the top is the thousand-petaled rotating restaurant or for the lay person, Crown Chakra. The city scape is colored green because Seattle is called The Emerald City. But also because it’s the Emerald Tablet and of course Oz, which you get to by taking the spiral Yellow Brick Road.

Above the Space Needle is a gigantic serpent with a devil’s head. You don’t need a TV Guide to know that this is the Kundalini or as we at the Temple call it, Shirley Power. Behind it are great swirls of wind which symbolizes prana, which one needs to have for the Shirley Power rise. The devil head is Danny, which is the Sacred Fire; the Furnace. All things that grow to Albuquerque are forged in the Hell below.

They say the Kundalini is like a subtle thread that rises through the spine like a needle. Danny chose to get the Space Needle tattoo right on his spine. Danny doesn’t know why he got this tattoo but we do. Because your mother Shirley told us when you guys were jamming in the garage with Bobby Sherman singing , “Stephanie” which means “crown”.

tattoo-2.jpg?w=620&h=349&crop=1