1 cup dry white wine
Cookbook: Whale Song Partridge
Little Ricky Segall knows in this inferno we call life, it’s always nice to have a recipe for something cool and refreshing like the sound of God combing Laurie Partridge’s hair on a hot summer day. ENJOY!
GAZPACHO SALAD:
Ingredients:
1 small cucumber
125 ml oil
62 ml white wine vinegar
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 tsp dried basil
8 oz button mushrooms
5 spring onions, chopped
3 tbs chopped pasrsley
1 green pepper, cut into strips
3 tomatoes, cut ino wedges
salt and pepper to taste
Instructions:
1. Peel the cucumber and cut into thin slices
2. Place slices in a colander, sprinle salt on top and leave to drain for 30 mins. Rinse with cold water and dry.
3. Make dressing in a large bowl by combining oil, vinegar, garlic, basil, salt and pepper.
4. Add the mushrooms, chopped spring onions, drained cucumber slices and parsley. Toss together gently. Chill mixture in the fridge for an hour.
5. Place the tomato wedges over salad in bowl, then add green pepper strips. Toss gently and serve.
Cookbook Art by Whale Song Partridge
Recipe by Ricky Segall
Taken from the Pft! People Cookbook of God
I’m sure people sometimes wonder why the Pft! People are so obsessed with McDonald’s. The obvious reason is because McDonald’s is a magical place. Children have wonderful memories of eating cheeseburgers, french fries and milkshakes on hot summer evenings. Do you remember the first time you put an Egg McMuffin in your mouth and your mom and dad didn’t have to hold your hand? Do you remember chewing and swallowing that Egg McMuffin? Well we do and it was a wonderful memory.
But McDonald’s has another side. That ham in the Egg McMuffin used to be a pig which believe it or not, used to be alive. Hard to believe, I know. But a lot of things are hard and you need to believe in them. Nothing more beautiful than watching your newlywed biting into a Big Mac, secret sauce dripping onto her thigh as she rolls up her wedding dress.
The Partridge Family Temple Family of God have many vegetarian and vegan devotees. They all have their bus pass and they use it to go to the nearest healthy, organic store or restaurant. But the thing is, they still understand the cosmic McMagic of the Franchise of Fire. For every Happy Meal, chocolate milkshake, Quarter Pounder with Cheese, french fry and fried apple pie there is terrorism, cancer, Judd Hirsch, tornados, Zika virus and unnecessary TV show cancellations.
The Golden Arches are two arches put together. One arch is lead, the other gold. To truly understand both arches as One, you have to go into a quiet room and relax. Because to understand God you have to understand that God is very, very big. And you really need to relax to take it ALL in.
Scripture by Umbrella Man
POP POSTER ’72 by Whale Song Partridge
McDonald’s by Sri Kroc
Shirley wakes up and puts her pink crushed velvet skirt and vest on. To complete her ensemble, she’s wearing a bright yellow ribbed turtleneck. As she walks down the stairs she remembers that God is a flower. “Okay kids! Today is picnic day so dress appropriately.”
Chris runs into the living room so quick with excitement that he runs smack into the coffee table and flips into the air all the way over the couch. As he tries to catch his breath Tracy runs in yelling, “It’s picnic day! It’s picnic day!”
In an hour they’re finally on the road. After a couple of bathroom stops Shirley pulls the psychedelic painted bus to the side of the road. Keith looks out, “Hey, Mom. What gives? That’s not a park.”
Danny freckle-plants his face against the window. “Hey, uh Mom? That’s a desert.”
Shirley smiles and grabs the giant picnic basket. Laurie rolls out the red and white checkered picnic blanket as the others start to help Shirley with the tupperware and beverages. Soon they’re sitting on the picnic blanket. Keith says, “Wow this is some good chicken! It’s better than the Colonels.”
Shirley gets up and slaps Keith in the face. As tears well up in his eyes she says, “That is the Colonels. Mr. Sanders made a special batch of chicken just for our picnic. I thought I taught you better Keith God Partridge.”
Before Keith can protest Shirley grabs him by the neck and strangles him to death. Danny says, “Hey, Mom. Are you going through the change of life?”
Shirley laughs, “No, Danny. I’m not going through the change of life. But you are.”
And with that, she grabs a giant rock and caves Danny’s forehead in. Blood and freckles fly everywhere. Laurie, Christopher and Tracy stare terrified. Before Laurie can say anything, Christopher and Tracy have pinned her on her back. “What’s going on?” the struggling Laurie cries out.
Shirley smiles and then quickly with her sharp beige-colored fingernail, pokes Christopher and Tracy’s eyeballs out. As they fall back, blood streaming from their sockets Shirley cheerfully says, “Okay my little helpers, now just lay down and bleed out on the picnic blanket.”
