“got FREE if you want it!”

“got FREE if you want it!”

Inspirational poster for meditation room or office found at your local New Age store or head shoppe.

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Quote by Christopher Partridge
Pft! poster by Whale Song Partridge

Danny Catches The UN

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One evening, Shirley was making macaroni and cheese for everyone’s dinner. They had just finished band practice when the sun went down and it became too dark to see outside. Danny was getting more and more irritated as his bedtime approached. After finishing the last bite of his meal he stood up at the dinner table.

“Every day we have to rush to do our chores, finish our homework and have band practice— all before the sun sets,” he said. “Why should we be slaves to the sun? I’m going to catch the sun before he rises and teach him to be a little more respectful!”

But Keith was quick to criticize, not believing Danny could possibly pull off such a feat.

“It would be impossible to catch the sun, he’s much bigger than you! And smarter too!”

“The heat and flames would burn you to death, Danny,” Shirley said.

“I think he’s got sunstroke,” Laurie added, and they all laughed.

“Hey – I’ve done a lot of things that people thought were impossible,” Danny said angrily, “and I will conquer the sun!”

The next day Danny rummaged through the garage until he found some rope, which he planned to use to ensnare the sun. When the evening arrived, he grabbed the rope and walked towards the east where the sun rises first. He dug a hole among the roots of a tree and hid. 

The first ray of light, the first leg of the sun, soon began to appear in the sky. Danny threw his rope and caught it. One by one the legs of the sun rose into the sky and were caught by the rope.

When the sun saw that all of his legs were trapped, he tried to lower himself again. Danny quickly tied the rope to the tree and pulled until the body of the sun came back up again. 

Danny reached into the hole he had dug beneath the tree and pulled out an ax. He began to viciously strike the sun until he was coated in blood.

“Give me my life,” the sun begged.

“If you live, you may be a traitor,” Danny shouted, “It would be better just to kill you!” 

But the sun continued to plead for his life. He asked Danny if they could please discuss the situation.

After talking for a while, the two agreed that there should be a regular motion to the sun’s journey. Danny would allow the sun to live as long as he was able to make the days longer. They decided that half of the time the sun could go down quickly, as he now does in the winter— but during the other half he must move slowly, as he now does in the summer.

The days became longer thanks to Danny, he had succeeded in taming the sun. From that day on, the sun has always kept his word and traveled slower across the sky.

A traditional Hawaiian tale

Artwork by Whale Song Partridge

Undo it & Break the Standard Cola Routine

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People often ask me, “What religion are you? You talk about the Bible, Koran; Torah. Are you a Hindu?” I say, I am not a Catholic, a Buddhist, or a Hindu, but an Undo. My religion is Undoism. Reality is like a jigsaw puzzle, and the pieces that are already fitted together must be undone.

– Swami Satchidananda

Sunflowers Die in November

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One day in November, Keith was sitting around the house, upset over a recent breakup. He had spent the last week wooing a girl who would no longer give him the time of day. Thinking of the girl saddened him, but when he began to think about his friends he got even bluer. Everything was flower power yesterday, but now people only wanted to discuss war. He had spent years writing songs to uplift people and turn them on to the brighter side of life, but it seemed to be doing no good.

He started to think of a way to wake people up, to bring them to consciousness. He decided that by taking a wrathful form he may be able to subdue the people of this Age of Darkness. He realized that the beings in this Dark Age were poor and needy, experiencing only suffering; by adapting a wrathful form he could provide them with an antidote to their pain so that their needs may be met.

As he thought of this, dark blue letters spelling H-U-N-G emerged from his palm and he transformed into the Instantaneous Protector of Wisdom. In all the lands, the ground shook with sexual kind of earthquakes; the people were terrified and turned on at last!