Sunflowers Die in November

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One day in November, Keith was sitting around the house, upset over a recent breakup. He had spent the last week wooing a girl who would no longer give him the time of day. Thinking of the girl saddened him, but when he began to think about his friends he got even bluer. Everything was flower power yesterday, but now people only wanted to discuss war. He had spent years writing songs to uplift people and turn them on to the brighter side of life, but it seemed to be doing no good.

He started to think of a way to wake people up, to bring them to consciousness. He decided that by taking a wrathful form he may be able to subdue the people of this Age of Darkness. He realized that the beings in this Dark Age were poor and needy, experiencing only suffering; by adapting a wrathful form he could provide them with an antidote to their pain so that their needs may be met.

As he thought of this, dark blue letters spelling H-U-N-G emerged from his palm and he transformed into the Instantaneous Protector of Wisdom. In all the lands, the ground shook with sexual kind of earthquakes; the people were terrified and turned on at last!

The Consumer of God is Always Right-On!

The Partridge Family Temple is pleased to announce a brand-new Pft! holiday. It’s called Black Friday and takes place the day after Thanksgiving. We at the Temple understand that God is the ultimate consumer. In a sense the Universe is like a gigantic Walmart and God just can’t wait to consume all that stuff. We also understand that we were created in God’s image which means we are all little consumers. Here today, gone tomorrow. And you know what? God’s gonna stock those shelves again. Maybe it won’t be a dodo bird. Maybe even something way better than a dodo bird.

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When you think of Black Friday just think BLACK as in the Black Arts, Black Mother Kali, Richard Pryor, the Black Madonna and her puka shell-wearing Son Freak and the Nigredo. Then you have to think about FRIDAY. You got your German freak Frigg and the in-crowd hangout TGI Fridays, then of course sweet, sweet Venus. Now you dig, these are just groovy incarnations of Shirley Partridge. So starting tomorrow set your alarm clocks for All Consuming God Fun!

Artwork by Whale Song Partridge; Scripture by The Partridge in the Pear Tree

B Magic

Seven Up Partridge sings a lovely song with his lovely Brothers and Sisters:

Wind Chimes Partridge
K is for Kaleidoscope Partridge
The Partridge in the Pear Tree

Ray Kroc approved artwork by Whale Song Partridge

Recorded in the Cosmic Egg of Shirley Studio, Fog City
1969

Life is For One Generation; A Good Name is Forever

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Every morning Den Fujita would wake up and wander outside. He would sit down on a park bench overlooking a brook that flowed through his property. In his right hand he would hold a long string of smooth beads, which he rubbed one at a time while he visualized each item on the McDonald’s menu.

During this meditation one morning, he began to concentrate on the word death, fingering each bead as he focused on the word. He remembered that 800,000 people died in Japan every year, but that 1.5 million were also born. 

The 800,000 going to the cemetery are scrap iron, he thought to himself with a smile, They won’t eat burgers. But the 1.5 million will.

An excerpt from Fortune Magazine, 1986