Lookin’ For God in All the Right-On Places

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“A short time later, I met with Mick again, who then asked me to design a logo or symbol for The Rolling Stone’s new record label. Mick showed me an image of the Goddess Kali which became the starting point to our discussion regarding the design of the logo.” – John Pasche

“Slowly and slowly, we’ve been finding the right people to do the right thing like Marshall Chess, like Jo Bergman. All those people are as important as we are. Especially now that we’ve got Rolling Stones records, with the Kali tongue . . . nobody’s gotten into that yet, but that’s Kali, the Hindu female goddess. Five arms, a row of heads around her, a sabre in one hand, flames coming out the other, she stands there, with her tongue out. But that’s gonna change. That symbol’s not going to stay as it is. Sometimes it’ll take up the whole label, maybe slowly it’ll turn to a cock, I don’t know yet.” – Keith Richards, 1971

And where is God? And who is God? I gotta know’

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The Pft! has many different bus stops. This bus stop, The All is Flowing Family of God is a branch of the Eternal Partridge Family Temple Tree. We use the word GOD quite frequently. Now we all know that God is Shirley, Keith, Laurie, Danny, Christopher & Tracy. We’ve all established that immutable truth. But we at Pft! want to clarify the butter of God with you. We don’t know what God is, who God is, why God is and when God will be beyond CBS, Fridays at seven o’clock. But we do know God’s a solid!
Now everyone has their own head trip what God is. Here’s a helpful list of some God Freaks we know and love. After Shirley this character may be the easiest person to pray to: Walt Disney. I can’t think of a better person than Walt Disney to really humanize the God Scene. How can you argue with someone who created Disneyland and had his own personal apartment to look out at his new Jerusalem? You can’t.
Dolly Parton. Can you just imagine that when you die, you wake up in a grassy vale with beautiful Autumn leaf trees towering above you? And then you hear the most beautiful voice that you could ever hear. And as the voice moves closer to you, you see a blonde woman crest a hill and as she comes hither, the smell of Spring perfumes the air. This blonde hillbilly from Tennessee is naked and holds you close to her whispering, “It’s okay, honey. You just went to sleep and had a nightmare. Now it’s the morning and everything’s fine. Are you hungry for some flapjacks?”
Now we’re going to break it down real quick and C’mon Get Happy fast. Ray Kroc, Mary Blair, Tiny Tim, Buckminster Fuller, Aaron Spelling, C.S. Lewis, George MacDonald, J.R.R. Tolkien, Norman Lear, Ray Harryhausen, Anne Frank, Colonel Sanders, Helen Keller, MGM, 20th Century Fox, Paramount, RKO, Warner Brothers, Ernie Ball, Bobby Sherman, Marcia Brady, Hazel, Matt Weiner, Ronald McDonald and of course whomever invented Jello Spoon Candy.
So grab your piping hot TV dinner from the oven, put it on a TV tray, grab your TV Guide, get in the Flower Power Asana and remember,
ALL TV CHANNELS LEAD TO GOD!

The Partridge People Have Something To Say

This is a forum for the Partridge People. The Partridge People are You. The Partridge People are We. This is the place where Children of Shirley write down what the Eternal God TV has told them.

The Seven Rays of Kroc

October 27th, 1956. Fred Turner has just finished his shift at his new job at McDonalds. He sits down and sips from his orange drink. A door opens and Ray Kroc walks in. Fred gets up and says, “Good evening, Mr. Kroc.”

Ray smiles at him, then says, “Can I talk to you, Fred?”

Fred nervously says, “Yes, sure. In the basement?”

Ray shakes his head, “No, Fred. Let’s take a walk.”

They walk out into the parking lot. One of the employees waves at them as he picks up trash. Ray walks in silence. Fred’s stomach is turning summer saults. He thinks to himself, “Am I going to be fired? And if so, why doesn’t he just come right out and tell me?” Fred tries to make small talk but every time, Ray just smiles at him and shakes his head. Then Ray starts to whistle as he turns on to a side road that leads into a park.

They walk deep into the woods. The sun has set. Fred wishes that he’d brought his jacket; it’s a cold Autumn night. Ray turns around and says, “You’re probably wondering why I brought you out here, Fred. It’s because I like ya. But I need people who I can trust. Can I trust you, Fred?”

Fred says, “Sure, Mr. Kroc. You can trust me.”

All of a sudden Ray Kroc’s face loses all expression. There’s an emptiness to it as if one was made of a marble tomb. Ray takes his hand, grabs his head and yanks really hard. He pulls his skin and clothes off and standing before Fred Turner, is a being made of golden light. Ray doesn’t talk anymore, at least not in the normal sense. When he says something to Fred, a little bit of golden light flows from him and touches Fred on the forehead. Everything Ray says to him is overwhelming. It’s like as if someone forced you to read an entire library in one hour.

Fred falls to the ground. And when he looks up, Ray looks the same in his suit and skin. He strokes Fred’s hair and cheek and then asks, “Can I trust you?”Fred bursts into tears and falls to his hands and knees before Ray Kroc. “Yes, Sri Kroc. You can trust me forever.”