{"id":651,"date":"2014-01-06T09:29:31","date_gmt":"2014-01-06T09:29:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/?p=651"},"modified":"2014-01-06T09:39:30","modified_gmt":"2014-01-06T09:39:30","slug":"brown-goblins-happen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/2014\/01\/06\/brown-goblins-happen\/","title":{"rendered":"BROWN GOBLINS HAPPEN"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993300;\">The young man slowly walks through the desert. His entire body screams hunger and thirst. He has suffered excruciating Brown Goblin persecution. He gazes through the desert haze and sees the mountain in the distance. He smiles and realizes his journey is halfway done. Slowly, ever so slowly he crawls up the winding mountain path. Finally he sees her.<\/span><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993300;\">A beautiful naked woman with a blonde, shag hairdo. She throws her arms open wide for him and brings him to drink from her bosom. After he is drunk deep he falls to his knees before her and tells his story of the Great Goblin War and his place in it. She smiles and then stroking his head says, &#8220;Here, let me lessen \u00a0your suffering. Drink from my honeycomb hideout.&#8221;<\/span><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993300;\">As she opens her thighs and she pulls his head between them, he looks behind her and sees that she is shitting. Each new piece of shit is actually a baby, Brown Goblin. As it falls, it quickly grows into a full grown Brown Goblin. He looks closer and sees that the entire valley below is teaming with Brown Goblins that are all waving small triangular felt flags that spell out, &#8220;<\/span><span style=\"color: #ec7efb;\">SHIRLEY<\/span><span style=\"color: #993300;\">&#8221; in cursive letters.<\/span><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993300;\">He turns and looks up into her face.<\/span><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993300;\">She smiles and as she guides his head again, she winks at him forever.<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/536154_381976795181035_145149779_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-652\" alt=\"536154_381976795181035_145149779_n\" src=\"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/536154_381976795181035_145149779_n.jpg\" width=\"394\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/536154_381976795181035_145149779_n.jpg 394w, http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/536154_381976795181035_145149779_n-236x300.jpg 236w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 394px) 100vw, 394px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The young man slowly walks through the desert. His entire body screams hunger and thirst. He has suffered excruciating Brown Goblin persecution. He gazes through the desert haze and sees the mountain in the distance. He smiles and realizes his journey is halfway done. Slowly, ever so slowly he crawls up the winding mountain path. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-shirley"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2wBFt-av","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=651"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":657,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651\/revisions\/657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}