{"id":1316,"date":"2016-09-06T00:03:52","date_gmt":"2016-09-06T00:03:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/?p=1316"},"modified":"2016-09-06T00:05:49","modified_gmt":"2016-09-06T00:05:49","slug":"secret-annex-yoga","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/2016\/09\/06\/secret-annex-yoga\/","title":{"rendered":"Secret Annex Yoga"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"frankenstein2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The Partridge Family Temple is pleased to announce a NEW & IMPROVED! form of the God-Head Eastern Union.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

SECRET ANNEX YOGA STUDIO!<\/strong><\/h4>\n

What is it, you ask with mouth wet-wide?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Like Ray Kroc said, \u201cKeep it simple.\u201d<\/strong><\/h4>\n

SECRET ANNEX YOGA!<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Is a new offshoot of the ancient God Reality Scene called \u201cyoga\u201d.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

They say that, \u201cSilence is Golden\u201d and Shirley Partridge with her warm and reassuring smile, would smile as she poured you a glass of Nervous Mother milk.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Simply put, we are all part of the Secret Annex Scene. Inside of us, is the Eternal Spirit, Anima Frank who is in hiding because of the Brown Goblins.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Give the brown goblins the silent treatment!<\/strong><\/h4>\n

The Brown Goblins are everywhere clambering to distract you from the true YOU.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Here is what to do:<\/strong><\/h4>\n
    \n
  • \n

    Find a Secret Place to set your yoga mat and then sit down in whatever yogi position that is most comfortable to you.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    Don\u2019t strain. Anne doesn\u2019t like fake laughter at a luncheonette. Extra pickle please!<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    Now you\u2019re ready! Begin by chanting, \u201cCan I be Anne Frank with you?\u201d<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    Don\u2019t expect anything right away. Eventually, if your SECRET ANNEX YOGA! is pure of heart, God will respond, \u201cYes, you can. Yes, you can, be Anne Frank with me.\u201d<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    To find your inner Anne Frank, you must first find the Seven people that she shares the Secret Annex with. You must become close confidants with them. Some will be easier than others.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    Once you\u2019ve made friends with all Seven Secret Annex inhabitants and have mastered to be as silent as the mouse in Walt Disney\u2019s hand made of statue, than you will experience the bliss of Anne Frankincense.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t know how difficult the Matterhorn at Disneyland is to climb. This isn\u2019t going to be easy because the higher you climb, the more Brown Goblins you\u2019re going to attract.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    Brown Goblins never get tired. They\u2019re always hungry for All-You-Can-Eat Lie Pie. Not only can they never get their fill, they never order it \u201cLie a la Mode\u201d. Anne would never have a slice of pie without a scoop of delicious ice cream!<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    Again, I can\u2019t stress enough; don\u2019t underestimate the Brown Goblins! To prove my point, when you wake up tomorrow, try not having breakfast with the Brown Goblins. Oops! What\u2019s that? Did I just hear a Brown Goblin ask for you to past the toast and jam? See what I mean?<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You\u2019re going to need to Turn-On to the Nostril Scene. Imagine that your nose is a rudder steering your Secret Annex. After all, your left nostril is named \u201cAnne\u201d and your right nostril is named \u201cFrank\u201d.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    Now INHALE the FLOWER POWER!<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Where do we meet?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

    We don\u2019t.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

    This is your Trip to the Candy Shoppe of God-Head.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

    The Divine SECRET ANNEX YOGA! Trip was planted in the Partridge in the Pear Tree the Eighth of June 2011. It was written on the Twelfth\u00a0of June 2011.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

    The Egg Hatching Day of the Anne Frank Revolution!<\/strong><\/h4>\n

    When the Brown Goblin is annoying you, give it the Silent Treatment. The Brown Goblin hates nothing more than the Silent Treatment. When you don\u2019t talk about the Brown Goblin, the Brown Goblin doesn\u2019t exist. But like Laurie Partridge said, \u201cEasier said than done.\u201d Every morning you wake up, the Brown Goblin is there to serve you breakfast in bed. Do you like to drink a hot cup of lie in the morning? Do you enjoy course bread full of gas, smeared with brown, bumpy scales? Do you like shit over easy? Heck, everyone likes room service. But when you get your bill, you\u2019ll find out that Brown Goblin Breakfast in Bed is a pretty heavy coin purse. And that\u2019s even without the tip.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

    SAY GOD-BYE TO BROWN GOBLINS FOREVER WITH HIDE ANNE SEEK!<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The Partridge Family Temple is pleased to announce a NEW & IMPROVED! form of the God-Head Eastern Union. SECRET ANNEX YOGA STUDIO! What is it, you ask with mouth wet-wide? Like Ray Kroc said, \u201cKeep it simple.\u201d SECRET ANNEX YOGA! Is a new offshoot of the ancient God Reality Scene called \u201cyoga\u201d. They say that, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,53],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anne-will-set-you-frank","category-un-yoga"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2wBFt-le","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1316","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1316"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1316\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1319,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1316\/revisions\/1319"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thepartridgefamilytemple.org\/albuquerque\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}